Why? Because I’ve cut all the nerves that normally do that kind of feeling thing…

How? I put a scalpel through my finger… yup… through. I was cutting a prototype and the damn thing broke. Yes, I was cutting away from myself. Safe as can be. EXCEPT that when it broke I reacted by pulling my hands out from under the microscope and towards me (which was also towards each other) when all was said and done I had a big ol’ cut in my left index finger and a lot of paperwork to do (I did this little stunt at work)

I was looking at the blade a little while later and noticed a line of skin cells about 0.450″ up the blade (yes I was working on a microscope and yes I got out the calipers.. they were right there.)Now if you look at my hand that means it went REALLY deep in my finger. So I unwrapped the bandage and took a look and the first thing I saw was that It looked like I’d not only stabbed the side towards my thumb but I ALSO managed to knick my finger on the FAR side as well!

Except then I did th math and then it occurred to me that that wasn’t a little knick… it was an exit wound :) Yooray! We’re off to the urgent care!

So it had been about two and a half hours since I had stabbed myself when I ended up in the urgent care surgery unit. Everything was going as well as it could have, my finger didn’t even hurt! Then I got a tetanus shot and the world started to go fuzzy… black sparklies… the tunnel closed and I was sitting there in “darkness” fighting for consciousness for about a minute. Sitting there thinking “It’s ok… the pressure just dropped… the body will respond in about 5-10 more seconds… the blood vessels are constricting now… everything’s going to be ok” and everything was going ok until I let my mind wander to the fact that I was REALLY hungry and would kill for an in-n-out burger (and a durmal regenerator) and BAM I’m waking up…. stupid wandering mind…

Passed right the hell out….

The very accommodating doctor (he was still nice to me even AFTER I spilled a whole bowl of iodine mixture when I rag-dolled on him) said that I had what he called “micro-shock.” Essentially you’re doing fine and telling yourself you’re ok and it simmers and stews and then when you sit down and finally relax, something small (in this case a tetanus shot) sets you off and you get all the fun stuff at once….

So the wake-up thoughts were (in order):

1. Why are these people running about? What’s wrong with them?
2. My god! My finger! Smash Brothers comes out tomorrow! Oh thank god… I shield with my right hand…
3. Did I pass out?
4. Oh man did I just lose bladder control? (Answer: no. it was the iodine/peroxide bowl I’d dumped on the floor/myself)
5. I must have passed out

So yeah, I’m a nerd. A nerd with a bad day….

After waking up the doc came in and said “So you’ve lost feeling?”

“Um… no?”

“Yes you have”

“I have?”

“Sure… feel this?”

“Yes… yes… …. …. crap….”

“You cut the nerve package that runs to the top of your finger”

“Crap…”

“Don’t worry. I’d give you a 40% chance to get some or even all of it back.”

“Crap…”

Apparently, because I did it with a surgical blade, I have a better-than-most chance of getting the feeling back but still… this sucks…

In the end they taped and superglued everything back together and now I’m at home and full o antibiotics and pain meds (which I would have KILLED for when they were working on my finger. NO ANESTHETIC!)

Also typing with 9 fingers and a HUGE bandage sucks so I’m going to end this-here pain-med induced rant and go to bed.

Pictures when I download them off my phone…
Bah!

update:

No pictures yet (left the cable and a lot of my blood at work) but here instead are the funniest damn videos I’ve seen this week. Watch them in order. So you need to know: at the end of every Jimmy Kimmel show he says “My apologies to Matt Daemon… we ran out of time” So he bumps him EVEY show :) Here is how Daemon stepped it up:

And here is Jimmy’s response… priceless….

For the record that last clip features BRAD PITT, HARRISON FORD, JOAN JETT, ROBIN WILLIAMS, DON CHEADLE, MEAT LOAF, PETE WENTZ, DOMINIC MONAGHAN, MACY GRAY, PERRY FARRELL, LANCE BASS, HUEY LEWIS, JOSH GROBAN, CHRISTOPHER MINTZ, PLASSE, JOEL MADDEN, BENJI MADDEN, DICKY BARRETT, REBECCA ROMIJN, CHRISTINA APPLEGATE, and CAMERON DIAZ! AMAZING!

This last few days my life has been COMPLETELY taken over by clinic (thank goodness VLSI got through the work-heavy part JUST in time) At some point I’ll throw some pictures up here of the whole machine, but for tonight I have a quick story before bed. A lesson perhaps…

When testing things at high speed… Stand back.

That’s it. That’s my pearl of wisdom. “Sure sure” I hear you say. “Anybody knows that” Well, I’m here to tell you I know it better than most.

Tonight I was testing out my shrimpy-spin-dryer and its new motor.(Think:giant salad spinner for shrimp. But sideways. And continuous. And powered. And with a taste for human blood.) Very exciting stuff. (You’re going to have to trust me on that.) Anyways, the thing spins up nicely the first time (mind you, I haven’t actually mounted the motor, I’m holding it in tension on the belt drive so I can see how the system works before going on) So I thinks to myself, thinks I: “Let’s open this thing up and really see what she can do…”

Upon reflection, when holding a 28lb motor in your hands with your head next to a giant role of mesh rotating at high velocity, this is not a wise thing to think.

Sooooo I change out some drive pulleys, forget to do some multiplication, and damn near decapitate myself. In the space of… oh I don’t know, maybe half a second my beautiful contraption goes from looking something like this:

(note: this isn’t actually my spinner, I took these pics AFTER the fact so this one is the wet separator version that was still intact)

To this :(

(note: the twisted mess of mesh on the top there was wrapped neatly around and pinned down. Also all of the hoops, such as the one in the foreground, used to be concentric around the drive shaft.)

All while I’m a good safe twelve inches away with both hands occupied holding this motor.

It was at this point that I decided mechanical engineering needs to be done between the hours of 7:30 am and 4:am. After 4am it is no longer a good idea. So knowing that, I’m off to bed. It has been… educational.